Contest

Submit an essay in the name and style of Julio Wong-Smith.  It should be informal in tone, humorous, and filled with various half-truths and bad puns.  Your submission should also be "safe for-work" (use your better judgement).  Julio has been proven to be a "C student" in the past, so you should keep that in mind.  Read his other works for inspiration and calibration.

Your topic should be an actual essay prompt that you have had for any class while at UC Irvine.  Submissions for non-liberal-arts classes are acceptable, though very tricky to do well.  (See the homeworks for Chem H90 for an example).  Bear in mind that the judges may or may not have read the background material for your paper, so while inside-jokes are encouraged, your submission should also have value on its own merit.

If you really can't come up with an essay topic, you can find inspiration from the following sample topic list:

You will be graded on style, humor, content, creativity, and general awesomeness.

Prizes

The prize payout will depend on the number of participants (we're just going to keep the money if we don't get any good submissions).  Assuming we get a variety of "quality" entries, the awards will look something like:

1 Grand Prize: $100 cash + lunch with Julio Wong-Smith
1 First Prize: $50 cash
Up to 2 Second Prizes: $25 cash
Up to 4 Honorable Mentions: Pat on the back (or high-five)

All acceptable entries will be posted on my website (www.juliowongsmith.com) for the whole world to enjoy, so you should totally enter!

Eligibility*

Current UCI students, UCI alumni, students/alumni of other universities, and other assorted awesome people are welcome (and encouraged!) to participate. In the event of a tie, current UCI students will be given priority for prizes. 

Rules

  1. All essay submissions must be received via email (julio.coolio@gmail.com) and have "essay contest" in the subject line.
  2. You must include a description of your essay prompt with your submission.
  3. Essays should be around 4-8 pages, (double-spaced, 12pt font, 1" margins).
  4. Your submission should include a "Works Cited" page for all of the works that you "cited."
  5. Creative formatting is allowed if used judiciously to increase the awesomeness of the paper.
  6. Submissions must be received by May 5, 2010 to be eligible for prizes.  (Late submissions will be reviewed but are not eligible for prizes)
  7. Winners will be announced by May 19, 2010
  8. Multiple submissions are allowed, but they'd better be pretty awesome
  9. Send questions or comments to julio.coolio@gmail.com


*NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. CONTEST VOID WHERE PROHIBITED.  ODDS OF WINNING ARE DEPENDANT ON THE NUMBER OF SUBMISSIONS AND YOUR LEVEL OF AWESOMENESS.  JAM PRODUCTIONS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO UPDATE THESE RULES AS NECESSARY.  IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU EITHER HAVE REALLY GOOD EYESIGHT OR YOUR BROWSER IS IN BLIND-PERSON MODE. YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE EVERYTHING IS FRIGGIN' GINORMOUS AND YOU CAN ONLY SEE ABOUT SEVEN LETTERS AT A TIME. YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T STARE AT YOUR MONITOR FOR TOO LONG THOUGH. THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS NO MSG. MAKE ONE OF YOUR PARAGRAPHS A SEMI-MEANINGFUL ACROSTIC FOR MEGA-AWESOME BONUS POINTS FOR READING THE FINE PRINT.  PEOPLE NEVER READ THE FINE PRINT, EVEN WHEN WE USE IT EVERY YEAR TO ENHANCE THE CONTEST. YOU'D BE SURPRISED BY HOW MANY LEGAL RIGHTS YOU GIVE UP WHEN YOU SIGN SOMETHING THAT HAS FINE PRINT.  "JULIO WONG-SMITH," "ESSAY," AND "CONTEST" ARE UNREGISTERED TRADEMARKS OF JAM PRODUCTIONS.